Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing, regarding your delivery.
It seems to be rather… faulty.
The face is chipped, the legs quite wobbly.
And when I finally found the instruction book,
it took years to decipher the gobbledygook!
You know, it lost two children, quite early on
I should have known, something was wrong.
But being too busy then, to send it back
I fudged it and plastered over the cracks,
with copious amounts of mulberry wine
and a good glob of expensive time.
The adverts promised Santa Claus
but all I got was menopause!
Surely this was sent in error,
I had expected youth to last much longer!
And when I found the life-time guarantee
there was no clause, for catastrophe.
My husband tried to fix it too
with wrapping paper and lots of glue.
But all his work cracked and split
when our only child left way too quick.
Now it rattles around our empty home
like a faulty, antique metronome.
20 06 20