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My last poem of the decade. Just a bit of fun, inspired by my reading group book for November, ‘Mythos’ by Stephen Fry

I keep asking Life for a quickie divorce

I ask and ask until I’m hoarse

We always argue, fuss and fight

About our son, Pain, who keeps me up at night!


“I bet you’ve been seeing that

Bastard, Death.”

He mutters angrily under his stale breath.

“He always takes the good wives first

I swear my life is being cursed!”


“Oh now stop,” I say, ‘You’re being so dramatic!’

As I struggle to recycle heaps of plastic.

“We’ve been together far too long

I just want to sing another song.


Besides, I’m missing our daughter, Joy

Who ran off last year with the paper boy.

You know she gave birth last month to twins?

I wish you’d help me with these bins!”


Life lights up the room with wonder

“You never told me, I’m a grandfather!”

“Of course you are! Your line just keeps on going

Just look at these bins, they’re overflowing!’

Here’s to 2020!